I think anybody will feel helpless if then witness how hard Joy Joy cries. She cries with abandon. Loud and pitiful with huge drops of tears streaming down her cheeks. You'll do anything to calm her down. It is extremely stressful for her caretaker, especially if you love her.
Today I've been notified to look for another caretaker for her after i start work if I object to using sarong for her.
As you know, I object to potentially causing injury to a child for the convenience of the caretaker. It will be too late to say sorry to me if something happens. And something is likely to happen if the level of attention is what I have witnessed so far.
We take care not to put our glassware at the edge of a table or do anything that could cause damage to our possessions but why do we not take the same theory and apply it to caring for a baby?
I also have a problem with the definition for what is a obedient child and what is not.
Self entertain, fall asleep by herself after playing by herself, fun to play with when you have time = obedient.
Crying from an unchecked wet / soiled diaper, crying from exhaustion, crying from hunger = not obedient.
Is that right?
Love can drive us in different directions, even if it is the same or closely similar thing to begin with.
When one is unable to help a loved one, it is natural to feel helpless, frustrated, stressed out, irritated and even defensive if you feel like you are being judged for it.
At first, there isn't enough milk, then the weather is too hot, then it is too bright in the day, then its my fault for spoiling Joy Joy and I can't remember what else. What if Joy Joy doesn't like the sarong? Any more excuses?
Blame it on the dog. Blame it on everything else except the fact that you are unable to handle it right away. Being defensive and unable to face the fact is not going to help. The old is not always wiser, is not always right.
There will always be limited resources in life and some things, like looking after a baby, need time, patience and the heart to do it well. It depends on what is your priority now. Grocery shopping or laundry or cooking or TV Joy Joy?
But then again other available resources need to be willing to help. Which is another story for another day.
And lastly, but most importantly, it is whether you believe that a child should receive this kind of attention and care or not. If it is consider "bad" for a child to receive this level of care, there's really nothing much I can do or say. It must be as difficult to change such a thinking as it is to change my thinking that we should give a child quality care and attention. Afterall, I staked my own life to give birth to her.
At the end of the day, it's all about expectations.
I cannot expect anyone else to love Joy Joy as much as I do.
I love her when she's smiling.
I love her when she cries.
And with Joy Joy I can safely say..
She'll love you with all her heart if only you'd love her with all of yours.
No comments:
Post a Comment