31 August 2011


Today Mummy brought music for Joy Joy:

It's a lovely compilation of instrumental lullabies and children's songs. Exactly what I was looking for.

Mummy plan to listen to it everyday so that Joy Joy gets used to the compilation and we can play it for you when you are sleeping. We have it imported to our iTunes on the laptop, Daddy's phone, IPod and soon, Mummy's phone, so that our little girl can listen to it whenever, wherever.

When Joy Joy is older, Mummy will reach you to sing the songs with lyrics.

To stay home or not to stay home

Daddy and Mummy are lucky because we make a comfortable sum of money every month. However, the family commitments are also heavy and risk of rainy days high.

Mummy would love to be a stay home mum so that Joy Joy gets all the attention and care you need.

But I can't.

If Daddy is the sole breadwinner, he'll probably have to try and climb the corporate ladder which in turn means long working hours which in turn means he will more likely than not miss Joy Joy's growing up years.

How can I be so selfish.

The additional income also means we have the means to bring Joy Joy on holidays around the world and that we'll be able to rest assured we can afford to give Joy Joy a certain standard of life.

Our decision might change one day, if we find that it's not working out the way we planned but looks like Mummy's gotta continue working after giving birth.

30 August 2011

Lemon Biscuits

Our favourite!
This biscuit can wake piggy Daddy and/or Mummy up from sleep. Great bait to use when we need Daddy and/or Mummy to wake up!

1st Prize: Our Marriage Certificate Number

29 August 2011

Daddy holds my hand

As Joy Joy grows bigger and bigger, space for Mummy's bladder grows smaller and smaller.

Mummy wakes up every morning at or about 3.15am to 3.30am to pee once and another time at or about 5.30am, usually before Grandma comes in to bathe for the day.

Because of the peeing, Mummy could potentially disturb Daddy at least twice a night. Some nights, Daddy the pig sleeps peacefully through it all. Some nights Daddy stirs and Mummy ends up with a big baby in her arms. On other nights, Daddy wakes and asks Mummy is she is ok / cold then pulls mummy into the cocoon he's built with our quilt and pillows, so that Mummy is warm and secure.

More often recently, Daddy holds Mummy's paws hands when Mummy comes back to bed after her peeing session. He smooths out Mummy's hair, kisses Mummy's forehead and covers me with our quilt before patting me back to sleep, with my paws hands still in his.

28 August 2011

Mummy 1 Daddy 0

Hunger struck when I was in the bedroom and Daddy was in the living room. I craved badly for mcnuggets.. and golden crispy fries.

Shortly after, Daddy received 2 MMSes:

He saw the pictures a little late, I got impatient and so I gave Daddy a call.

Me: "Mummy did you see my message?"

Daddy: "What message? I see now."

- seconds passed -

Daddy: [laughs] "You want isit?"

Me: "..... its just that I've been thinking about them the whole of today"

Daddy: [laughs] "Ok, I go buy for you"

Minutes later Daddy came into the room and laid on the bed. Then he asked me what's the minimum spending to get free delivery. I researched and we both think that would mean we have to order too much food that would go to waste.

Daddy seemed tired and he closed his eyes for a little while. I asked if Daddy was tired and Daddy nodded his head.

I struggled with the images of food in her head and the sight of Daddy's tiredness.. Then I said:"Daddy tired ah.. Then dun go.. Joy Joy and I won't feel hungry after we're asleep"

Daddy opened his eyes, got out of bed and changed, laughing "That is the most potent thing you can ever say" he said.

Yeah! Mummy is a winner!

27 August 2011

Grandpa's discipline

Grandpa's glass of hot milo tells a story.

Once upon a time, Grandpa was a heavy smoker, about 2 packets a day...until the day he had a little boy (my little brother), who told him "Papa, it's so smelly".

After that, Grandpa stopped smoking. Just like that.

Fast forward to a few months earlier, Grandpa had a can of beer or two a day... until he went for a check up and the doctor told him that the beer was destroying his health.

After that, Grandpa stopped drinking. Just like that. He now drinks Milo in place of the beer.

Everybody knows how hard it is for someone to kick a 10, 20 over year habit but Grandpa did it right away, the moment he made up his mind to do so. Mummy thinks that Grandpa is the most disciplined person she knows.

Mummy Practice

Daddy had bad diarrhea this morning, I could smell it from the bed. I asked Daddy if I could help do anything for him to lessen the pain of his childbirth session and he said I could fetch his phone for him. And so I did.

When Daddy was finally done, he plopped himself back onto the bed and told me that I need to practice.

Me: "Practice what?"

Daddy: "Next time Joy Joy is not feeling well, she won't be able to tell you. All she'll do is cry"
And then he proceeded to pretend to cry like a baby.

Me: "Why baby, why you cry?"

Daddy: "Mummy, you're not supposed to ask me, you're supposed to find out."
Daddy the baby cried even harder.

Me: "Ok baby, Mummy shioh shioh, dun cry... unless you want me to cook and eat you for dinner"

The big baby hid in the pillows and quiet down after that.

I think I'm going to make a great Mummy.

Deciding on an unknown

The little girl has such an affinity with elections, she's been through 2 even before she was born. The General Elections and the Presidential Elections. Daddy and I are entitled to vote in both.

I am constantly reminded by people who might have been through worse. I agree, we're (Singapore) not doing too badly but just because it's worse in your country, really doesn't qualify what I see in ours and is not a reason why we should leave things as it is.

I love my country and want something better for it. This is not something that can be appreciated by people who do not love my country the way I do, or people who have given up in their hearts, nor people who feel that nothing is wrong in the first place.

Also, when you have a child, you vote with a real concern for the future of your country. I care because my little girl will inherit the decision I make.

What change do I expect?
Little changes. Small steps towards a better future.

25 August 2011

baby pictures at my desk

These are the pictures I put up at my workstation.

I love the black and white ones particularly.
Theres something about the picture of the new born baby. I really want to protect him.
And the little girl? She is just what I imagine Joy Joy to be. Cheeky and innocent.

Robinsons private sale

I have been delegated power to act as shopper for the family. My responsibility is to buy the best things for the lowest price.

My motto is never to compromise quality for price and never to mistake pricey for quality.

I made the most satisfying bulk buy so far at the recent private sale for Robinsons Card Members.

30% off and a $30 voucher for every $180 spent.
I got one of the $30 voucher and made Daddy go get another one because I knew we would spend alot. Net savings was a grand total of $222.12.

So proud of me, I'm here to brag.

We've got a deal

Uncle Shenglie Gor Gor
Remember this face my little girl.
I've sealed a deal for you, he said you'd get your fill of toys if you address (ahem) properly.

24 August 2011

Daddy washes the dishes

Daddy and I have problems deciding where to go for dinner every night because both of us are not fussy eaters. I left it to Daddy again last night to decide where to go and he brought me to a new place. Daddy said he noticed that is always packed whenever he drove past although he has not the slightest idea what food they sold.

Before we got off the car, I suggested to pick up the tab for dinner but since Daddy insisted that would pay, I got off the car with only my phone.

We ordered based on our observations of what other people ordered. I got a little worried when Daddy came back to sit down at the table and told me in whispers that he wished he had agreed to me bringing my wallet along. He was becoming unsure if he had enough cash to pay for the food.
We did have enough money in the end but in the car on the way back, Daddy asked me to pass him some cash for tomorrow because he wouldn't be able to withdraw in time. I laugh and said ok..................But I forgot.

After lunch today, I was in a meeting when I received a text message...

Daddy: "Mummy never pack money for puppy"

Me: "Oh dear!! I'm so sorry baby!!"

Daddy: "sobs sobs"

Daddy: "Puppy now washing plates"

Beanie with the curly hair

 Daddy INSISTED that we absolutely need it and so together, we combed through all the baby hair accessories listings on gmarket to find one. It was love at first sight for Daddy

The beanie seemed to be very popular and I faced the greatest challenge in my career as the family shopper so far. Eventually, we got lucky and I was able to find one seller that didn't have the item listed as out of stock.

We received the goods a week or two ago and Daddy absolutely loves it.

Why we named you Joy

noun /joi/ 
joys, plural

A feeling of great pleasure and happiness
- tears of joy
- the joy of being alive

Daddy named our little girl Joy.

She is the source of our joy and we like how the name is simple.

Whatever life has to offer to the little girl, we want or hope that she would learn to find joy, be simple, thankful and contented.

Why you gotta say the I love you(s)

Some weeks ago Daddy and I were mad at each other over something. So mad at each other.

I was on leave and had some errands to run. Daddy dropped me off before he went for a course although he was upset but we seethe in anger in the car and didn't talk to each other or rather Daddy didn't respond to me. He believes that we should only talk about it when we've both calmed down. It didn't help really, my mood was further aggrevated because I was ignored.

Although Mummy was upset and close to tears, I made sure I said "I love you mummy" before I got off the car. I didn't expect it but Daddy made it in time to reply "I love you too" before I slammed the door shut.

That day, I went to a few places and my last stop was KKH to make some enquiries in person. Normally, I would plan errands to last the day so that I would be done around the time Daddy gets off and we could go home together. But that day, I decided to get home on my own because I was feeling tired. 

Later in the evening, Daddy called when his course was over.
Daddy: "Kitten, where are you?"
Me: "I'm home.."
Daddy: "What are you doing?"
Me: "I'm doing xxx so that we can discuss it later"
Daddy: "I'm so proud of you.. Ok, I'm coming home now. Love you mummy"
Me: "Love you too.."
Minutes later, I got another call from Daddy. Daddy is home and he wants me to open the door for him I thought.

But Daddy said: "Mummy, I got into an accident"

I was stunned. I went "huh?" a few times and Daddy repeated himself patiently before I finally understood what he was saying. Before I could ask if he was hurt, Daddy told me he had to go and would call me back later.
After the call ended, I started to think..what if i hadn't told him i love him when i got off the car just now and never got the chance to say it again? or worst .. what if i told him i hate him when i got off the car just now?

23 August 2011

Phobia fun

© Urbanraven | Dreamstime.com
Because of the possibility of Downs, I had my blood drew at almost every gynae visit for one test or another. When we switched from a private gynae to KKH, Daddy was present as well and since so, he was asked to do a blood test for thalassemia.
I had to provide 3 tubes of blood in total for testing different things other than thalassemia, whilst Daddy only had to provide 1 tube. We were just done with the blood test when the nurse asked me and Daddy to keep our arms bended.
Daddy: Mummy mummy.. I feel faint....I can't feel my arm..
Mummy: Darling, if you can't feel your arm, what about me? I had 3 tubes drawn.. i could hear the sound of the blood gushing against the blood sample tube..  it went like *shush shush shush*
Daddy: [turns pale] Stop talking about it mummy! I can't feel my legs..

Daddy oh Daddy.. how can you survive my labour??  

The Downs (Part 1)

When Joy Joy was 13 weeks old, Mummy and Daddy were advised to go for the 1st trimester fetal screening to detect any abnormalities. When Mummy first heard about it she felt nothing.. very confident that Joy Joy would be well, healthy and normal.

Since there was no immediate urgency to do the test right away, and we were to make an appointment to do it at a screening centre on another day anyway so the gynae advised Mummy and Daddy not to make a decision so hastily and think about it before deciding whether or not to go for it.

You see Daddy has a sister who can't speak or hear.
Whilst it all very easy, and true as well, to say that we will love you anyway, normal or abnormal, we are well aware of all that you will have to shoulder thoughout the course of your lifetime, if you should be genetically challenged.

Mummy and Daddy thought long and hard about it.
 What will we do if the fetal is abnormal?
Will we abort?

There were many what ifs.

What if Daddy and/or Mummy pass away at an early age? What if any genetic defects causes you to have to suffer other sicknesses? What if you can't withstand the challenge of being a child that is different from others in school? What if.. what if what if...

But what if, given a choice, you would still want to be given the chance to live anyway?

In the end our conclusion was still a unanimous Yes, we will abort if the risk assessments turns out to be high. But not because we didn't love you.

Daddy's colleague even jokingly commented that Singaporeans only want to retain the best. Even when it comes to babies. It hurt mummy a little when she heard about it, although mummy knows that no offense was intended.

I suppose, I feel guilty now, otherwise I wouldn't be explaining.
Now that I am so advanced in pregnancy, I could have chosen to write something else. Something nice. But I've chosen to write the truth and I believe that Joy Joy will understand it one day, when I show this to her. Even if she doesn't, I'd understand and be patient.

To put it bluntly, Mummy and Daddy made a decision on whether to keep you or not, based on our perception and judgement that if we should bring you to this world, pain of suffering you would experience, would greatly surpass the joy of living. And that was it.

And so, our minds were made up. And so we went for the screening....

On the day Mummy went for the screening, Daddy was away in Jakarta for business.
Mummy went alone and Mummy wished that Daddy was there too... not just for company but also because during the scan, Mummy saw what we never saw from earlier scans..

My little girl stretching out her hands as if she was yawning..
My little girl's hands, fingers, feet, toes, spine..
My little girl turning and moving alot..
And a blur baby's face..

Everything was so well formed that Mummy never expected anything unusual to come out of the screening results... Although the nice lady Sonographer, who was chatting happily with Mummy on how active Joy Joy was became quiet towards the end. Mummy brushed it off.

A few days later, on a Saturday, Mummy and Daddy were watching a movie on DVD when Mummy received a call from the gynae's office.

Gynae's Receptionist: "Can you make it to see the doctor next Monday? She needs to see you urgently".
Mummy: "What is it about?"
Gynae's Receptionist: "The first trimester screening results are out and we have detected some abnormalities, your baby's neck fluid is very thick, we need to speak to you and your husband urgently."

Mummy's first reaction was denial.

Mummy: "I'm really not free next week and I can't take leave at all. Can it wait?"
Gynae's Receptionist: "There is nothing more important than your baby, you check and see if you can take urgent leave? Give us a call back on Monday again."
Mummy: "I told you i'm not free....... If i can make it, I'll call again.. Bye.."

And Mummy put down the phone.

Daddy: "Who is it? What happened?"
Mummy: "The gynae called and said she wants to see us. Baby's neck fluid is very thick and abnormal."
Daddy: "Shit... "

Daddy tried to make Mummy call the gynae back but Mummy refused.
So Daddy called and made an appointment.

The test results:

The gynae said your risk assessment didn't look good because having a 3.1mm thick neck fluid was highly indicative of a Downs Syndrome baby. Mummy was so sad, I couldn't think of any questions to ask at first.. then I started bombarding the gynae with questions.

The gynae suggested an Amniocentesis, where a long.. long.. needle will be inserted into Mummy's womb, to extract ambiotic fluids for testing. The down side to this test is that there is a risk that Mummy could suffer a miscarriage...

Mummy was reluctant and Daddy almost fainted at the thought of the long long needle (Daddy has a fear of needle..), so the gynae suggested that before we do the Amnio test, we see another doctor, who can do an extremely specialised scan to see if Joy Joy has a nose bridge (absense is a sign of a downs baby), amongst other things. Based on the results of this specialised scanning, we can decide what to do next.

Mummy and Daddy agreed. Because of the decision we have both made on whether we will keep Joy Joy, should abnormalities be detected, we felt that it was our responsiblity to be as sure as we can, before making any drastic decisions. No matter how much it costs.

The Downs (Part II)

Mummy felt down. Very very down.
And then Mummy fell sick.
And then Mummy experienced bleeding.

Daddy made an emergency appointment and took Mummy to the gynae that day.

The gynae did a scan and told Mummy that her placenta was low lying.. and that Mummy was badly dehydrated.. and recommended that Mummy check-in to Mt Alvenia for bed rest and hydration that evening, for 3 days tentatively.

The first thing Mummy asked was if she could work from the hospital.
Daddy kept quiet and we just took the admission letter, paid and left.

Mummy was so down, she didn't know what to do.

A few days later, we went back to see the gynae. The receptionist pissed Mummy off by asking us why we didn't admit into the hospital. I begin to super hate the same phase she kept repeating.."Baby is most important.. there is nothing more important than Baby"

Do you think I don't feel this way?

I didn't bother talking to her much. And I was really in a foul and very defensive mood.
So much so that when the gynae brought up the subject of visiting the specialist doctor again I sulked at her and was begining to feel tears swelling up in my eyes.

Don't cry, Mummy told herself.

Daddy asked about the available appointment time slot and when the gynae mentioned 1pm on a weekday.. Mummy, for some reason, felt so furious, that she snapped at the gynae, tears already flowing out of her eyes.

"I need to work but since you insist, i can go and forgo my lunch".

The gynae was taken aback and daddy was taken aback.

Mummy was given a tissue to wipe her tears whilst Daddy took over and made the arrangements.
The gynae then went on to tell Mummy and Daddy stories of how other Mummys take news of the possibility of having a Down Syndrome baby. She talked tactfully but Mummy was still in a foul foul mood. I just wanted to get out of the clinic as soon as possible.

When we were in Daddy's toy car, Daddy begin to laugh at Mummy.
He said he couldn't believe his ears when he heard Mummy snap at the gynae..
Mummy didn't know whether to cry or to laugh... but Mummy laughed..
Funny thing is.. to cheer Mummy up, Daddy took Mummy bed shopping.. which cheered Mummy up and made Daddy very broke (another story for another day)...

And so we went for our appointment with the specialist doctor.
Mummy felt calm when she stepped into the Specialist Doctor's clinic. It was a Friday and Mummy thought "If the doctor give me bad news, at least I have the weekend to get over it", besides, Mummy was then capable of being cheered up by the strangest things.. like having baby magazines to read at the clinic....

It was one of the most relaxing scans Mummy went to so far..although it lasted a whole hour. I love the doctor's humor and felt safe in his hands. During the scan, we saw what Mummy saw before.. how well developed Joy Joy was..Close to the end of the scan, Mummy asked the Doctor if he could tell if Joy Joy was a girl or a boy.. the doctor said "85% a girl"

Daddy's reaction was hillarious for a good reason (another story for another day) and Mummy was incredibly happy.

We heaved a sign of relief when the doctor explained the scan results to us..

He then made a comment i remember to this day..

"Don't worry about those test results.. many people don't know but children who has Downs love you like no other child is capable of loving you. They will die for you even, they love you with all their hearts.. a normal child can't even do that"

It made me feel so much better.. there was suddenly a "click" in my head and my thinking switched.
I can't tell if we were motivated by the scan results, or the Doctor's comments or what..
All I remember was that I had a picture of myself with my baby and imagined that she was a Downs baby... I imagined the conversations we would have.. and the heartaches I would feel for her..
And I still really, really wanted to keep the baby.
Mummy told Daddy so too and Daddy agreed.

Mummy had various conversations with people who are already parents and from there, Mummy felt grateful to whoever is up there, for having Joy Joy. One colleague told Mummy how she felt about being a Mummy, she said "You know, its actually very very difficult to get a child.. so I'm glad, I have mine..". Another parent, who has a Downs child, told Mummy about all the difficulties he encountered as a parent of a child with special needs.. but he told Mummy he never loved another human that much before either.

Mummy also came to learn that sometimes, your gynae cause you the most worries. From Mummy's extensive research, there are actually many many many instances where a gynae's over conservative disgnosis caused mummys to be depressed or traumatised unnecessarily. Or maybe Mummy is in denial.

But Mummy thinks, that one needs to really understand and learn about your situation before you judge it to be good or bad. And to learn, you have to cast aside all the bad thoughts inside yourself , open up and look deep inside you.

Mummy and Daddy learn a valuable lesson from this..

To this day, there remains a nagging question and deep worry in Mummy's heart..
Mummy wish with all my heart that Joy Joy would be born healthy but Mummy is slowly preparing herself to face it if Joy Joy has special needs..because the test results are not conclusive.

To this day, we still feel something when we see a baby, child or person with special needs
Just a week or two ago, Daddy and Mummy were out separately with their friends when Daddy called Mummy..Daddy said he saw a young lady with a deformed arm and no nose bridge although he thinks there is no problem with her intellect and everything else. She dropped something on the floor and Daddy picked it up. Daddy felt so sad, he called Mummy to tell Mummy about it... Mummy asked Daddy if the young lady was cheerful notwithstanding and Daddy said "Yes, I'm so proud of her".

I'm really proud of her too.

22 August 2011


Daddy suddenly took his old ipod touch out today to charge. The very same one which refused to start up for a few months after some stewardess accidentally overturned Daddy's orange juice on a flight.

Me: Daddy why you take it out to charge?

Daddy: Joy Joy can play with it when she is born.. even if she smashes it its ok..

I'm impressed...

Laundry day!

Grandma has been hard at work for the past week or so.
She washed and she washed and she washed and she washed. Today, I helped to sort by size and fold the little clothes lovingly meant for the little girl.

A whole wardrobe full of the little clothing
Per grandma's last count, Joy Joy has 80 pairs of mittens and booties!

And heres the little booties I got for Joy Joy. Cuteness overload!

21 August 2011

The Joy Room

Of all the rooms in our future home, I think I would enjoy decorating the Joy room most.

Although I should really wait for the little girl's personality to emerge, so that I can tailor it more to suit her, I could not help myself when I came across some fantastic decor ideas off the internet and my obsession, pinterest.

Good natural light (environmentally friendly, energy saving), looks like airflow is good too.
Most importantly, not cluttered, very cozy and welcoming.

Pretty for a girl's room!

These drawer pulls are a genius invention! If I were a child, I would enjoy them for sure. 

Evil evil.. these fabric stools are sooooo cute!
I have an obsession with the grey / yellow color combination.
It looks cheerful yet restful all at the same time.
Wouldn't it be fun if the little girl has her own envelope inbox?
We could leave notes, toys, and other surprises for her. It'll be a super childhood memory.

What a lovely corner to rest and enjoy a book!
Best soft toy organization idea, ever!
Something I want to make sure the little girl knows.

I love owls.. hehe

Check out the curtains, that tiny rocking chair and those stuffed buddies...

Its true, I know such a little girl.

Lots more on my pinterest here. Enjoy!


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