31 December 2011

Mummy I'm home

JoyJoy sleeping soundly (for the first time in a few days) in her hand-me-down playpen on her first visit to Mummy's home yesterday.

Something about going home made it easier for me to manage Joy Joy oat of the day.

21 December 2011

Daddy Love

Joy Joy suffers from painful gas. Badly. Probably from all that hard crying.

I know it's extremely painful for her because she grunts, grimaces and sometimes cries out in pain even when nursing. She didn't even flinch or cry when her blood was drawn for the jaundice tests, so long as she was either in a deep sleep or nursing. So I know how painful it must be for her.

It's been so for 1-2 days now and I really can't bear to see her suffer like this. So this afternoon, I went out to get gripe water. Didn't help. By evening, she was crying again when nursing. The cause of her crying was obvious to Grandma and I.

When an exhausted Daddy got off work, he texted me to say he would walk to the heartland shops near our home to get me the butter cookies I had been craving for. So I sent him to get Ridwind for Joy Joy, who happened to be crying painfully when I was on the phone with Daddy.

Daddy diligently checked with all of the shops for Ridwind but, one after another, they told him no, they do not carry Ridwind. He tired many many shops and even the medical clinics, basically all and any shop he could think of that could possibly carry Ridwind. But he was disappointed time and again. In his mind he planned to drive out to get the medication.

Before he drove out, Daddy tried one last shop. It was the last place he would think look but he tried it anyway. And to his surprise, the shopkeeper said Yes!

I didn't witness it but Daddy said he was overjoyed. Extremely happy that this shop in this part of earth sold this humble medication that would give his beloved daughter relief from the pain she suffered. So happy that his eyes light up once he heard that they sold it and he beamed a super wide smile when he passed his $10 to the shopkeeper, eternally grateful for their inventory. So much so, that it startled the shopkeeper. He said I would have laughed my head off if I had witnessed it.

I can imagine because when Daddy got home, he was full of smiles and excited to tell me the story. He said he love his daughter oh so much and felt very happy to be able to lessen her pain.

I'm writing this down so that Joy Joy knows how much Daddy loves her.

20 December 2011

Daddy's speciality

YouTube Video

Daddy specializes in the art of burping. He's getting so good at it that Joy Joy is able to fall asleep whilst being burped... We can interpret it as being über comfy for Joy Joy.. Or we can interpret it as being über boring (Daddy burps Joy Joy for a looooooooong time) for her, so much so that she falls asleep.

Either way, Unbelievably cute!

19 December 2011

1 full month

This picture was taken on 16 December 2011, the day we decided to deliver Joy Joy's baby shower eggs and cakes to our offices. When grandma bathed her to signify her 满月, our little girl turned into an Ang Ku Kueh.. As red as her 红鸡蛋.

I cut a little of her hair rather than have her shaved because she was born with very nice hair and I couldn't bear to shave them off.

These were the cupcakes we ordered for Joy Joy's full month. So cute, I couldn't resist!

The next day, we had Joy Joy's baby shower. It was torture for me to give up many precious hours of sleep to plan the baby shower but when I saw that people took the trouble to come, it was really worth the hours I had given up.

Joy Joy brought some old friends back in touch with me, simply because she is so adorable and I am very grateful for that. Some friends even came alone although they didn't know anyone else.

I purposely had her dressed up like this but not many people saw because she is all wrapped up. But so cute I had to take a picture.

We received alot of really useful and thoughtful gifts, so many that we needed help to bring them home. And lots of Ang Baos, which will all go into Joy Joy's personal savings account. the little girl is now RICHER THAN ME!

14 December 2011

My little paddington bear

YouTube Video

She's sometimes alert after a nursing session and now we have an additional activity... PLAY!


This is how Joy Joy looks immediately after she's had her fill of milk.

Her head tilts back and her whole body relaxed and she looks like she is experiencing estascy. That's when I know she's fully satisfied.

I've never seen a baby so drunk on milk.

12 December 2011


I was having lunch yesterday and Daddy's sister was watching over Joy Joy when I heard her puke loudly. So I went over intending to clean the puke for Joy Joy and then I saw this:

A sight that will cause heartache to any parent.

I ran to our room, knocked on the door and told Daddy, who said "let's go to the hospital now". We grabbed the bag that is always ready, changed Joy Joy into fresh clothes, changed and left home.

After examining Joy Joy and me, we were told that Joy joy needs to be admitted. Preliminary diagnosis is that she probably bit too close to my nipple when nursing, caused me to bleed, swallowed my blood and could not digest it (the Doctor said that even adults are not able to digest blood). They can't be sure but just in case it's internal bleeding, they want to observe Joy Joy for any further blood in her vomit.

I pumped as much milk as I could in the time we had left to the end of visitation hours and prayed vey hard she wouldn't be fed with formula milk. If its something wrong with her digestive system, The hard to digest formula milk could aggravate it. Surprisingly, I could extract more than 200ml.
We went home after living the nurse with some warmer clothing / our own pacifier / bottle for Joy joy, just in case she needs to be bottle fed, although I had ordered cup feeding.
It felt so different at home without Joy Joy. Suddenly, there isn't a baby that relies on me for food / comfort. I no longer need to wake up and talk to her late at night or early in the morning or sing lullabies for her. It was a quiet void but we had to do what we need to in order to be ready for the next day.
I had some food, soup and went to bed. Sleep came almost immediately. Then I woke up at 4plus to express milk (160ml!) and pack for the next day before going back to bed.

Grandma woke me up early to take a bath before Daddy sends me to hospital. Daddy had to detour back halfway because I forgot the all important milk on my way out and got reminded by a nurse who called to say that they only had 20ml of milk left and Joy Joy gulped it down in 1 minute.

When I reached the hospital Joy Joy was about to cry. I carried her and she stopped, before crying again for milk. I showed Daddy his little girl through the glass window before going into the nursing room to nurse Joy Joy.

They said she seems fine, only one occurrence of vomitting last night without blood. They arranged for me to see a lactation consultant to help me prevent Joy Joy from biting me till I bleed.

The lactation consultant was EXTREMELY GOOD! She sat down with me and Joy Joy and showed me how to help Joy Joy feed more efficiently, even if she is just nursing for comfort. The pain I had when he latches on to my right side went away like a dream. She even taught me how to burp Joy Joy better.
At then of the day, the culprit is the Pacifier. The lactation consultant said that Joy Joy sucked closer tommy nipple because of pacifier use and that in turn caused her to injure me to the extent that i bleed and she swallowed the blood and caused what we believed to be the reflux problem and subsequently the blood in vomit problem.

I have such a huge problem with pacifiers really. And the things that people like to say about nursing to Grandma when they know nuts about it. And also the things known as "experience" which people rely on to tell me I should listen to them.

It's really easy to listen then repeat what you heard. But who can help you when your baby is affected? By then, it's not a matter of whose fault it is, my baby is sick and that's it.

I'm just glad it's not a serious problem this time. There will not be a next time when it comes to the pacifier. No pacifiers are allowed near my baby, I'll throw them away if necessary and nobody can change my mind about it.

11 December 2011


Confinement is unbearable if you happen to have to do it during the hottest "Summertime" in Singapore.

I'm lucky that my confinement is in December but the weather is crazy. On the uber hot days in the afternoon, I really feel like a sticky red date. Dirty, sticky, sleep deprived.

One of the things I didn't get done before I gave birth was getting pajamas. I wanted light cotton pajamas that were bottom down in front. But surprisingly, it's not easy to get comfy ones.

I made do with whatever clothes I have at Daddy's place until one day, Grandma remembered that the SIL has some pajamas pants she never wears.

Exactly what I wanted!!

I asked her where she got them and she said she got them at a pasar malam long time ago. Gosh! Why didn't I think of looking at pasar malams!

Now I'm happy with 2 comfy, cotton long pants for my confinement. They are so cute and comfy that I decided to get more if I happen to see them. Preferably one adult set for me and another for Joy Joy to wear hen she is a bigger girl.... It'll be sooooo cute!


We had a night that was considered good for me but I think it was not-so-good for Daddy, who was on weekend night duty ( read: I can activate a sleeping Daddy anytime for anything).

After making it through the night sleeping and waking, sleeping and waking to attend to Joy her royal highness, Daddy was zonked out mostly coz he didn't realize the speed with which we have to respond to a wet diaper to avoid the sky falling down on us.

We were having breakfast when Joy Joy was sleeping when we had this conversation:

Daddy looking at the iron gate (Grandma left the keys in the lock): "Kitten, what would you do if there is a zombie at the door and my key pouch is hanging at the lock?"

Me: "what are zombies afraid of?"

Daddy said after a short pause : "it's useless to lock the gate you know"

Me:" I know.. They can just push the gate down so we don't have to rush there to lock the gate... That's why I asked what zombies are afraid of"

" I will open the window there and then jump down" Daddy said, looking towards the direction of windows / balcony in the living room.

Me:" why would you want to kill yourself before the zombies get you? You may be able to survive if you don't jump you know" I said, thinking that Daddy referred to the living room windows.

"I'm not so stupid la, I mean open the window at the balcony then jump onto the balcony of the floor below (which extends beyond ours) then jump from there to the lift landing"

" oh, that's smart" I said. After thinking for a while, I asked Daddy " why are you talking to me about zombies early in the morning?"

"we need to be prepared ma.. In case there's something at the door like a fire, you need to already know how to escape" he said.

"oh.. " I said, finally understanding. And then I suddenly didn't quite understand again "But you didn't talk about a fire, you talked about Zombies!" I said.

We both paused, sat at the dining table and looked at each other and then laughed silently with out hands to our mouths (Joy Joy was sleeping). What a funny conversation we had! Probably due to stimulation from being über sleep deprived (me) and having sleep interrupted (daddy).

08 December 2011

The milking business

This is the milk monster's favorite look whenever I am near her.

Today I had the longest break from nursing since the beginning of my moo moo career. A 4-hour interval.

I can also feel Joy Joy emptying my breasts faster in the past few days. She takes big glups of milk and is usually done with about 30 mins of nursing, including burping and sometimes even sayang time.

The milk monster has a bad habit to retain one last mouthful of milk in her mouth without drinking it coz she is sleepy by then. It caused her to choke and cough on a few occasions. When we try to burp her, the milk flows out of her mouth and Grandma thought she is puking milk. I know it's not because it doesn't look like beancurd milk (i.e hasn't been digested) and the milk appears to come from her cheeks rather than vomited. After consulting my Aunt, nowadays I let her lie on her side before sitting her up to burp her, so that any milk can flow out of her mouth and not choke her.

Reflux still affects her but much much lesser. But we found that she can't lie flat still, there are still times where she will kinda choke on her reflux.

One day at a time. Hopefully things turn for the better.


You can't tell how bad it really is here.

I keep hearing comments like "her mummy sweat and caused her face to be like this" or "go and ask your wife lo" when Daddy asked what happened.

I only get to bathe once every 2-3 days and have a grand total of 2 sets of nursing wear to change into. The confinement food i take also increases my body temperature, which makes me sweat more.

Do you think I really want this?

07 December 2011

Joy Joy 1, Mummy 0

Happens all the time. Joy Joy poops after i changed her nappy and i interrogate her for doing that. "Did you just shit? Yes, No, Maybe?" I ask her.

She looks at me like this, sweet and innocent:

But when I didn't change from "interrogate mode" to "loving mummy mode", she gives me a perplexed look like this, deciding whether or not to cry:

I still remain in interrogation mode and she does what she does best.... Cry till she turns red:

Then she cries till she turns very very red:

And I lose.

Here's a nice video to illustrate how scary cat I am. I didn't even record the crying part coz I'm scareeeeeeed.

Combat ready

I was desperate.

After many days of nursing, i had severely sore, aching neck, arms, back and wherever you can think of and one morning I just had enough so I asked Daddy to go to the Kiddy Palace at TPY to just grab it. Hence the ugly pillow.

I still love it tho. Ugly but it's a life saver.

In the pouch, I have a small sized hand sanitizer, a small square cloth, sometimes the fan remote control and always, before I start nursing, my phone. Recently, I added a hand operated mini fan and I should have a spare battery included too.

My combat pack looks something like this from my view:

When I wear it, I look like a flattened humpty dumpty and one exhausting night, sleep deprived Daddy was up taking care of Joy Joy when he informed a sleeping me that she wants food NOW!

So I forced myself awake, jumped out of bed, went to the toilet and then swiftly put on my combat pack only to realise that. Daddy managed to cox Joy Joy to sleep!!

"why did you make me get all these ready if she's not hungry!!" i whispered, exhausted. Then it occurre to us that I look so comical and the situation was so comical to that we couldn't stop laughing. When laughing, Daddy was on our bed, on his knees to carefully put Joy Joy back to where she sleeps so he had to really control himself until he's settled her.

Tailored for Mummy

Baby Nursing / Breast Feeding Tracker
Sevenlogics, Inc.
Category: Medical
Updated: 17 Nov 2011

I've lost track of the number of nursing apps I've tried.

This is the best!

06 December 2011

1st step to a home

We exercised the option to purchase for our future home today. Finally. Yeah.

The 5-room space will have, full height windows in our bedroom and living room:

Underground carpark and amenities like childcare centre, fitness centres, playground and a multi purpose hall, amongst other things:

And it will come with finishing that satisfies our intended decor (simple, natural, cozy). We opted out of the optional door because it is extremely ugly.

The good thing is, our future home won't burst our banks. Bad thing is we have to wait 4-5 years for the place to be ready.

I can't wait.

05 December 2011

I'm on a new high

This morning Daddy asked me why I was so unusually happy and i told him "I'm high from lack of sleep". He was very amused by that statement and even checked with me again on whether i was still high during his lunch time.

(-_- "')

Getting our own home

Our second weekend as parents ended after we took my precious hour to go through the flats still available for selection.

So happy that's it's finally our turn to select a flat tomorrow after years of house hunting and half a year of tedious appeal against the HDB income ceiling, even though it had been revised recently.

So sad that many of the good units are sold. We went into detail on the units to select down to where the lift is, where the dustbin is, the layout, imagining the routes we would take everyday.

And I like one of the floor plan configuration. Full length window that extends over a corner of the bedroom. Daddy likes the study room to be near the living room rather than the kitchen. But to have this configuration, we have to accept a flat that is less convenient.

The configuration that comes with the more convenient location is this one:

Daddy even planned where Joy Joy's room will be (just beside ours), just in case she brings her boyfriend home in future, how we can eavesdrop on them. LOL.

We shortlisted some that are still available and can only hope that what we want are still available tomorrow.

03 December 2011

Daddy's Birthday

It was Daddy's birthday yesterday and he was sulking because no one seem to love him extra.

We were up the night before taking care of Joy Joy. In fact, she slept in my arms half the night. So by morning, everybody was tired and had no energy to SHOW that we love him extra. I didn't even have the strength to make him a peanut butter sandwich.

Daddy wanted a banana chocolate (did someone just say CHOCOLATE?!) fudge cake from secret recipe but I couldn't leave home on my own, much less leave Joy Joy milk-less.

So I got grandma to get him a cake. When he knew there was a cake he was elated and did a little jig before remembering to ask me "From where?". I stuttered and told him that secret recipe is out if the way for grandma so we got him one from prima deli, he sulked harder and proceeded to wail on the floor with his legs kicking like Joy Joy display his displeasure. He even had a wailing competition with Joy Joy, who was crying because she had a wet diaper but yet dislike having a bare bum when changing.

In the end, we a simple celebration by ourselves ( actually Grandma and Grandpa were more interested in TV) and this is Daddy making a wish.....

... After singing "Happy Birthday to me..Happy Birthday to me.."

Don't worry, next year Joy Joy will sing for you and blow out your candles. ^.^

We're getting better

In the past few days, Grandma has been trying her best to take care of me. She also quit her job at Daddy's request and paid 4 days of salary in lieu of notice.

I think it's a matter of differences in practice. My principle is still to do things for the benefit of Joy Joy rather than for our convenience and I don't subscribe to myths that don't make sense (some "myths" are actually based on logic) but some of her practices have proven to help Joy Joy and us cope better.

I think we'll get better and better as the days goes by. It's just a lot of communication and discussion on reasons why to convince her / for her to convince me before we reach an agreeable way of taking care of Joy Joy.

And no matter what she promised us before, I really shouldn't take it for granted that she's supposed to help us out in every sense of the word. Fact is, she's not young now and it's our responsibility as parents to take care of our baby.


We've been to the children's A&E 2 times now in the 12 days we've had Joy Joy. I know the procedure inside out.

First time on 27 November 2011 for what we thought was an infected belly button and Second time yesterday for painful reflux that kept Joy Joy awake, needing to feed all night to soothe her pain.

Her belly button is fine, so says the house officer who didn't recognize "runny stools" as a description for stools because, "there is no such description". I wish i still have a photo of the pus filled belly button but it really seemed to clear up shortly after, just that now we see dried blood. The test of whether to see a doctor, according to the doctor, is whether there is any redness around the belly button. There wasn't and still isn't. But I'm observing it everyday.

The doctor we met yesterday was better. Although we didn't get to know the causes for Joy Joy's reflux (I suppose there are many possible reasons), the tips she gave us on feeding, sleeping burping helped Joy Joy tremendously (I don't want to jinx it but she's been sleeping well and eating well). Daddy says its the best $90 he's spent.I think it really helps that she's a mummy with a baby who has reflux too, many of the tips I got from her are practices in caring for a baby with reflux.

Both times, we had Joy Joy's jaundice checked. First time without me nursing Joy Joy and she screamed her lungs out. 2nd time I nursed her and she only moved slightly when the nurse poke her. Jaundice level is going down but still above 100, so we gotta do it again next week.

Motherhood made me read and read and read alot when I am nursing Joy Joy. The reflux is probably coz I had chocolate (alot of it) and garlic. So I'm staying off 2 favourite food of mine until Joy Joy is older. Baby at ease is worth more than the short lived pleasure i get from these foods.

I hope not to get too acquainted with the A&E department. My heart breaks whenever Joy Joy is unwell.

01 December 2011


I've got the answer to all the why and how questions in my last post.

It's because I'm her mother.

Thats why.

29 November 2011

All i want to do is sleep

Joy Joy feeds about once every 2 hours for food plus some 7-10 mins feedings in between for comfort. Means I have 1 hour for food and miscellaneous and 1 precious hour for sleeping, sometimes more if there are no miscellaneous.

I really need to rant. Grandma is really not helping me much although I know she does what she can to do confinement for me within her rules, like insisting I don't get any rain / dew on me, making sure I have boiled water to wash up, boiling red date water for me and getting up to make breakfast for me.

Only thing is she is always depriving me of my 1 precious hour of sleep. When I want to sleep in the morning after breakfast, she needs me to help with the bathing and does it in our room, utilizing all the space on our bed, so I can't sleep even if i wanted to. When I want to sleep after that she wants to go marketing and sends Grandpa away separately to do passbook updating, leaving me alone at home instead of getting Grandpa to do all. When i wanted to sleep in the afternoon, she asked me to "help me look after baby for a while" coz she wants to wash the laundry.

Yesterday, as I was sitting on the sofa, with the nursing pillow and a sleeping Joy Joy there, trying to get some rest whilst sitting up and waiting for Joy Joy's next feeding time, it occurred to me that Grandma could have done her laundry when I need to feed Joy Joy rather than do it when I can get some rest.

And I just lost it.

I sobbed at first and then cried uncontrollably. I was so so so tired, why did she have to do laundry then? Why do I have to help with bathing Joy Joy? Why can't she send Grandpa to do the marketing and all in one trip? I thought she said she could do confinement for me? How come I'm like working round the clock with not much rest even when I could have rested? If she couldn't manage, she shouldn't have asked me not to get a confinement lady. And best thing is she's going to work for the next 4 working days. She only quit because she was unhappy with her boss, not because she felt I would be unable to cope.

To add to it, Daddy is sick, very sick. I've never seen him so sick before.

Tonight is going to be rough.

Who are you really pacifying?

I bought 4 of this pacifier before I read up about pacifiers. I chose pacifiers which resemblesq human nipples (the way they look like when baby suckles) and felt really good about it since I bought something that could help baby and me.

But now I know, pacifiers are bad. Personal experience is that they make your baby abuse your nipple (i.e suckle harder. think: chewing toy).

Other cons I read about are:

(1) reduces baby's need to suckle on your breasts which translates to less stimulation and opportunity cost in building up your milk supply

(2) Nipple confusion. The official term is that but my personal term is laziness in getting milk from mummy.

(3) Dental problems

(4) Speech delays

(5) Photos with a plastic thing in your baby's mouth instead of her beautiful smile.

The truth is, all they do is calm your nerves. Not your babies. Pacifiers were invented for babies' caretakers.

Joy Joy rejects pacifiers and only takes it when Grandma forces it on her and Mummy is not responding to her cries. Grandma gets flustered when Joy Joy cries and Joy Joy really cries hard, like this:

I made a decision to hide the pacifier from Grandma this morning. I told her that it causes Joy Joy to take a long time to feed and/or not be able to feed from my breasts.

We just have to find another way to soothe Joy Joy.

26 November 2011

Who do you love more?

I sent Daddy this photo and asked him "Who do you love more?"

Tricky question! But I know his answer exactly.

We subscribe to the "Triangle" theory. If I love Joy Joy and he loves Joy Joy, we will have a common goal which is the tip of the triangle. And the other two base points of the triangle will be him and me respectively. Together, we form a stable triangle with Joy Joy (or each child we may have subsequently). In the process, we love each other more because of our common goal and experiences.

So he loves Joy Joy more. And I love Joy Joy more.

Children will be children

Daddy sitting on a children's chair at Joy Joy's jaundice checkup today.


I know that Daddy is exhausted. Like almost totally drained. We had the nurses to take care of Joy Joy in the hospital but now, it's just him, me and Grandma.

At first, I was pissed that Grandma asked us not to get a confinement nanny. She said she could help me with confinement but end up she:

(1) Sleeps through the night whilst Daddy and I woke up countless times to attend to Joy Joy.

(2) Doesn't bathe Joy Joy properly. Took off her clothes to wash her hair rather than keep it on, doesn't pay attention to hidden areas like her neck, armpits, in between her thighs or even clean her umbilical cord.

(3) Feels extremely flustered when Joy Joy cry her lungs out. Many times, it incapacitates her help and it's faster for me to do it myself.

(4) may not be able to cope with helping me take care of Joy Joy whilst taking care of me in confinement. We went for just one doctor's visit today and she was unwell due to the sun and exhausted. If I had not catered confinement food, I doubt we could cope.


I thought long and hard about it this afternoon as I was Breastfeeding Joy Joy in my utterly exhausted state (about 6hours of sleep in 3 days for someone in confinement with a c section wound). I think we'll manage with strategic planning.

Since pregnancy I have been used to getting my sleep quota in interrupted packets of 1-2 hrs. Joy Joy feeds about every 3hours and it takes me about 30mins each time. So I will grab at least 1 hr is sleep every 3 hours, 1 hour to feed her, check her urine and stools, quickly clear any blocked milk ducts I may have after feeding, go to the toilet and clean up myself where necessary before climbing back to bed to rest. That means I get about 8hours of sleep in total. Even if I miss an hour out of what I planned, I still get about 6-7 hours of sleep. When I am too tried and Daddy is not resting, I can get him to bring Joy Joy to bed for me to breastfeed. By breastfeeding, we save time on the sanitizing but Daddy keeps a stock of breast pump equipment already sterilized in case I need to pump to remove blocked milk ducts I may have. The remaining 1 hour out of the 3 hours, I can take to do whatever I need to.

I want Daddy to get rest at least over this weekend. He needs to be in tip top shape next week so that I can count on him to help when needed.

My meals are taken care of by catering. Food is good, I have no complains.

Strangely, so far, I've had no need to use much water for cleaning. I clean my face with Bioderma followed by Hada Labo and eye cream, very low maintenance but effective. I clean my body with Tena wipes. Discovered it in the hospital when they cleaned me up. Damn good.

And I just learnt how to burp Joy Joy. It's an achievement to me coz it means I don't have to ask grandma or daddy to burp her in the middle if feeds. And she won't scream at the top of her lungs for milk.

I need to learn to keep Joy Joy cleaner tho. Means getting things ready at strategic places and knowing exactly what I need and where they are.

25 November 2011

Joy Joy's birth story (Part 1)

I had a traumatic delivery. More than 23 hours without any kind of pain relief because the gas equipment was spoiled and I didn't know until, by luck, I had to change delivery ward and the one there was working.

I needed to be on drip but one nurse and one doctor failed to get the needle in my vein and I was poked 4 times in total, the only successful time being the fourth. After which tubes of my blood had to be drawn immediately for the cord blood donation and some tests they the doctor on duty had to do.

On top of that, I need to be pricked every 4 hours to monitor my blood sugar.

And then another 21 hours of pain and suffering out which about 8-10 hours was relieved by thigh injection (meaning i could finally sleep after more than a day) escalated to a last 4-5 hours of pure pure pain and suffering. Induced by 2 different types of medication, 3 epidural injections because the first and second ones were not working, dosage of another type of pain relief because which was increased thrice over the course of about 1-2 hours (I had neck pain by the 2nd dose and it was potentially life threatening) and an emergency c-section during which I could not opt for full body pain relief because it would endanger Joy Joy and my life. The 3rd epidural was a risk as well.

One of the nurses didn't believe that my water had broken. It was only confirmed 7hours later by a doctor. 7 hours of possible infection to JoyJoy.

By the end of 44 hours, the doctors said we cant wait anymore, i need to have a c-seection.

Daddy had a bad toothache throughout my 44hours of labour. And he had to bear with it whilst taking care of me. We had help from bear bear to bring ration (food and necessities) to the delivery ward for Daddy.

When I heard that we need to do an emergency c-section and was told of the higher risks we could encounter because I had a history of asthma etc. I cried out loud. All the frustrations, all the pain, everything I tolerated until that moment, my escalated fear of pain by that time, my worries for Joy Joy's safety and my own life, Daddy's suffering with his bad toothache and long hours without sleep. It was overwhelming. At least for me.

In the OT, I was put on a bed with my arms spread out in a T-shaped and a tent set up in front after my 3rd epidural which was quick, swift and professional. I was shivering to the extent that my body was beating against the bed and I had breathing difficulties. I was extremely intoxicated with medication and I could feel them cutting me, tugging and pulling.

When Joy Joy was out, they put her face by my face. I turned to call her name and wanted to kiss her. She turned her head at the same time and pouted. So happened, we kissed each other. They put her cheeks by mine for a while and I could feel her softness. It was the best feeling ever.They asked me if they could now bring her to Daddy. I said yes. I know Daddy would love to see his daughter.

I could feel them stitching me up without the pain. They took a long long long time.

When they were done, I was first sent to a recovery room where they monitor me then transferred to a post ops ward. When I was being transferred I heard them saying that they would call Daddy. Then another nurse said that there is a guy waiting outside, maybe he is my husband.

I was glad to see him when they wheeled me out. He told
me that Joy Joy was very cute and that he took pictures and videos. I asked him if Joy Joy was healthy and said I wanted to see the pictures and videos right away but he asked me to rest first, he would send them to my phone.

The whole time we were talking whilst I was being transferred to the post ops ward and Daddy was following us. He went with me to the ward and sent me photos and videos then told me he would wait till they transferred me to my ordinary ward so that he could settle me down before he leaves and he did.

20 November 2011

Again unable to sleep properly and I was awake by 6.18am on 19 November. Rested in the dark to wait for 6.30am so that I can wake Daddy up for his IPPT.

Had breakfast and chatted with Grandma and Grandpa after Daddy left home before doing the filing, random surfing and settling paperwork we need to do before my admission:

By the time Daddy came back at 8 plus, i was exhausted and had to take a nap. I Slept till 11plus and rested till 12 plus before we had lunch and after resting for some time, Daddy started spring cleaning the room, changing our bed sheet and setting up Joy Joy's playpen:

We had a quick dinner at 6plus pm before going out to buy a float, disposable underwear, head support and I got some cure mittens for Joy Joy whilst Daddy cut hair and buy bread for us to have in the delivery ward.

I had planned to sleep at 3pm but it was 9pm when we got home. I took a long bath before packing my bag a little then climbed into our comfy bed to rest. I couldn't sleep at all. Daddy turned on the air-con for me joined me later after bathing. It was the last time we were going to have the room / bed to ourselves with Joy Joy in my tummy. The next time we go back, our little girl would have arrived. We chatted in bed and rested with Daddy hand on my tummy. What a cozy feeling.

We were to wake up at 12.30am for our appointment at 1.30am. In between I kept on waking up to go to the toilet. At 11.18pm, I discharged jelly like mucus plug after Joy Joy kept on pushing down several times.Sharp pain each time!

19 November 2011

I can see you

Daddy is not too well today. Went for IPPT in the morning and possibly sprained his neck.

I want to give him salonpas but he is a smelly boy who hasn't bathed since he came home this morning says he'll have it later.

So for the time being, when I talk to him, he can only look at me like this:

Toy in my tummy

© babycaredaily.com

Joy Joy likes to tug at her umbilical cord. I got a shock when she does it whilst I was asleep just now. Occasionally, I'll even feel like she's CHEWING on the cord.

From what I read, seems like its common to feel that and she's just playing with the only toy she has in my tummy.


This time tomorrow, I will be at the delivery suite to begin the most painful and the most joyful experience of my life.

A little girl grew in me

30 March 2011
On the day of our anniversary, I had a strong feeling and so I tested... it was a positive!
6 April 2011: First glimpse of the little girl
Hello little girl!

Estimated to be 6 weeks old, so so tiny (3mm), she was barely the size of a cursor on screen.

We also heard her heartbeat for the first time. Strong, steady and wonderful. When I stole a peep at the Daddy and saw him grinning from ear to ear. His eyes lit up when we were informed that the little girl's EDD would be 30 November 2011. Hold on in there 2 more days and he would have the best birthday present ever!

24 days later, it was obvious our little girl had grow. So proud of her!

Still can't make out the shape of a baby. Also, the fact that a baby was living inside me had not sunk in yet. I felt and behave like i did before but reality was slowly kicking in each time we catch a glimpse of the little girl.

14 May 2011
You can make out the outline of her head and her hands although her legs are not yet developed. I felt incredibly happy just looking at this scan. EDD was brought forward to 25 November 2011 to Daddy's dismay!
20 June 211
By about this time, my bump became obvious to the eye and I could feel her. The first time I felt it, I was in a train, holding my bag on my lap. It was like a tickle at first but soon I realised it was my baby moving. Incredible feeling.

9 September 2011
It wasn't a 3D scan but the sonographer caught the image of her face by a stroke of luck. I took one look and immediately had a feeling she would resemble Daddy. Huge eyes, button nose and fishball cheeks!

When we were doing the scan, the little girl's left hand was resting on her left cheek. During the scan she moved both her hands to touch her cheeks and yawned a few times.. looked so comfortable and cozy in there!

At this visit, we were told that the little girl had already shifted into the correct position for natural birth.. What a good girl! Also, 1.34kg of what I carry around everyday is our precious little girl!

18 November 2011: Last glimpse of the little girl in my uterus

I suffered from withdrawl symptoms from not seeing the little girl for so long. At this scan, I was told that amniotic fluid was low (API 4-6cm) and advised to be induced to avoid complications.

So the plan was to be induced on 20 November 2011.  20.11.2011 what a nice date for a birthday.
She was 3.1kg and together, we were 56.5kg. At the last scan, the little girl Joy Joy was 2.2 kg and I was 55.6kg. So the 900g weight increase since then all went to her?

The poodle

Daddy and I often refer to this lady at the payment counter as "the poodle". We don't mean it in the demeaning way, we mean it affectionately.

Her hair makes every visit complete.

Took this photo for remembrance sake, since it will be my last routine appointment.


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